I don't think not sharing every bit of yourself is inauthentic. I think almost nobody can manage that? It sounds batshit and bullshit. As long as the part that you're sharing is authentic. But it sounds like you have some doubts about that. I read like three of your posts, and I hope you stick around because they made me cackle, but if it's not best for you I hope you don't. But I'm curious to read your thoughts on parenting.
Congrats on becoming a small god – sorry it kinda sucks.
I've never been exposed to someone who writes like you or has your experiences – for a variety of reasons (not least of which is youth) and it is/was fun looking at your knickknacks and style because they felt like they were a bit of your soul.
I thought about QTing this because I have a lot of thoughts about inkhaven as someone on paternity leave, but it really is an audience of 1 I'm writing to here.
I think you probably already know, that there is nothing exceptionally magical about having a baby. Which is fine and good. There's lots of things regularly magical about it. But as you probably suspect, all of the people who say that there's some unidentified emotion that you've never heard of until you have a baby... Well, maybe they just aren't very emotional or something? Having a baby is more or less like I suspected: having a very incompetent cat that looks just enough like you that you sometimes giggle when she adopts your exact sleeping posture. This isn't to diminish the thing at all. It's great. It's just obviously not something that's gonna fix anything in your life or relationships except to the delusional.
But also, I've forestalled every depressive episode in my life by just working harder, and it is indeed effective method. Having a baby is a moderate amount of work, and I guess if you're an absolute fucking wuss about sleep, some amount of hardship. But I'm not writing this comment on Big Substack.com because this is anywhere close to as hard as my day job.
Well, I have no idea who you are but I liked your writing and it brightened up my day, probably some of the funniest stuff I've read in awhile. Also it had some good advice! Don't know if that sparks any dopamine for you, but hearing that always does for me, so I thought I'd say it.
For awhile I wanted to be a fancy blogger, and had 30 subscribers most of which were people like my mom, and then I got 30 strangers and immediately the whole thing felt VERY different. Six hundred seems like it'd be even worse.
Just came here to wave hello and say I bought Changing Planes like you recommended and I'm excited to read it soon while I'm on a plane to another plane (San Diego).
I'm glad you came to Inkhaven. You were a good hang. When your baby gets to school, they'll have one of the cool moms.
What is the authentic self anyway. An ephemeral and impossible goal. Which one is authentic? The one I have sitting around with my thoughts? The one I fall into in public? With family/friends/distant acquaintances/at work? The one I inhabit half a bottle of vodka deep for the 3rd straight day telling my Appalachian bloodlines that, no, this really is the last time were getting too old to do this every few weeks?
All of them are true in some way, probably, even if I don't like most of them nearly as much as others seem fine with me.
Anyway, I enjoy your silly little bits with the written word (at least the 2+1 I've read, I am saving the rest for when I have time). I find them funny and entertaining and even insightful. I hope to get to enjoy more in the future on occasion.
Honestly found you like yesterday and got parasocially excited when I found out you were pregnant. For the sake of this comment I’ll pretend to believe you’re not sitting on a mountain on bonbons and money and actually have problems bc I think I shared some similar feelings of endless dread and wanting to just run away before having my son and started a blog that I’m not even sure why I’m so committed to that is supposed to be an outlet but is also a burden that no one imposes on me but me but also I love it but also ???? Hope you stick around bc I’ve loved everything I’ve read but more than that, hope you find some mental and emotional reprieve before your undoubtedly effortless birth. ❤️
It's hard to write authentically about stuff that's still alive and writhing in my consciousness. I can only write about emotional experiences that I've cut up and dissected and metabolized into interesting little snippets largely void of present-day relevance.
Also I somewhat regret first speaking to you about this post when I had only read up to the email break
I don't think not sharing every bit of yourself is inauthentic. I think almost nobody can manage that? It sounds batshit and bullshit. As long as the part that you're sharing is authentic. But it sounds like you have some doubts about that. I read like three of your posts, and I hope you stick around because they made me cackle, but if it's not best for you I hope you don't. But I'm curious to read your thoughts on parenting.
Congrats on becoming a small god – sorry it kinda sucks.
I've never been exposed to someone who writes like you or has your experiences – for a variety of reasons (not least of which is youth) and it is/was fun looking at your knickknacks and style because they felt like they were a bit of your soul.
Thanks for the memes.
Maybe it's impossible to be genuinely authentic at all.
I thought about QTing this because I have a lot of thoughts about inkhaven as someone on paternity leave, but it really is an audience of 1 I'm writing to here.
I think you probably already know, that there is nothing exceptionally magical about having a baby. Which is fine and good. There's lots of things regularly magical about it. But as you probably suspect, all of the people who say that there's some unidentified emotion that you've never heard of until you have a baby... Well, maybe they just aren't very emotional or something? Having a baby is more or less like I suspected: having a very incompetent cat that looks just enough like you that you sometimes giggle when she adopts your exact sleeping posture. This isn't to diminish the thing at all. It's great. It's just obviously not something that's gonna fix anything in your life or relationships except to the delusional.
But also, I've forestalled every depressive episode in my life by just working harder, and it is indeed effective method. Having a baby is a moderate amount of work, and I guess if you're an absolute fucking wuss about sleep, some amount of hardship. But I'm not writing this comment on Big Substack.com because this is anywhere close to as hard as my day job.
So keep writing. It'll be something to do!
Well, I have no idea who you are but I liked your writing and it brightened up my day, probably some of the funniest stuff I've read in awhile. Also it had some good advice! Don't know if that sparks any dopamine for you, but hearing that always does for me, so I thought I'd say it.
For awhile I wanted to be a fancy blogger, and had 30 subscribers most of which were people like my mom, and then I got 30 strangers and immediately the whole thing felt VERY different. Six hundred seems like it'd be even worse.
Just came here to wave hello and say I bought Changing Planes like you recommended and I'm excited to read it soon while I'm on a plane to another plane (San Diego).
I'm glad you came to Inkhaven. You were a good hang. When your baby gets to school, they'll have one of the cool moms.
Omg I wish we’d hung out
Positively Sterne-ian! Bravo!
What is the authentic self anyway. An ephemeral and impossible goal. Which one is authentic? The one I have sitting around with my thoughts? The one I fall into in public? With family/friends/distant acquaintances/at work? The one I inhabit half a bottle of vodka deep for the 3rd straight day telling my Appalachian bloodlines that, no, this really is the last time were getting too old to do this every few weeks?
All of them are true in some way, probably, even if I don't like most of them nearly as much as others seem fine with me.
Anyway, I enjoy your silly little bits with the written word (at least the 2+1 I've read, I am saving the rest for when I have time). I find them funny and entertaining and even insightful. I hope to get to enjoy more in the future on occasion.
Yeah the true self is definitely fake and all the fake selves are basically true. I'll probably write more.
Honestly found you like yesterday and got parasocially excited when I found out you were pregnant. For the sake of this comment I’ll pretend to believe you’re not sitting on a mountain on bonbons and money and actually have problems bc I think I shared some similar feelings of endless dread and wanting to just run away before having my son and started a blog that I’m not even sure why I’m so committed to that is supposed to be an outlet but is also a burden that no one imposes on me but me but also I love it but also ???? Hope you stick around bc I’ve loved everything I’ve read but more than that, hope you find some mental and emotional reprieve before your undoubtedly effortless birth. ❤️
Thank you. I hope we can be regular non-para-socially excited about each other. I will probably keep blogging
<3
It's hard to write authentically about stuff that's still alive and writhing in my consciousness. I can only write about emotional experiences that I've cut up and dissected and metabolized into interesting little snippets largely void of present-day relevance.
Also I somewhat regret first speaking to you about this post when I had only read up to the email break
Its ok it was really really funny
Tbh when something isnt writhing around in my consciousness anymore it sort of ceases to be interesting entirely