90 Comments
User's avatar
Vishal Prasad's avatar

Hang this post up in the Louvre.

Garloid 64's avatar

I been saying this for years, but really the dating apps are just a microcosm of the pain and misery of the whole heteroid courtship routine. The market asymmetries turn one of the most fundamental basic fundamentals of being a living being into a neverending humiliation ritual for all parties. And yet it can't be any other way or evolution breaks down. Great fucking universe, omnipotent benevolent god.

When I was a little baby child, before I was so fruity, I dreaded it nonstop. Thank god I found the secret opt out.

Progressive Masculinity's avatar

This is a bleak take. Never-ending humiliation ritual? In what way? Dating can be fun and satisfying if you have a lot of options, build a thick skin against rejection, and learn to filter the jerks and time wasters.

Kveldred's avatar

>Never-ending humiliation ritual? In what way?

I'd say, probably in this way:

>[...] if you [don't] have a lot of options, [... do experience] rejection, and [meet ...] jerks

Thomas🇺🇸🇪🇺🌐's avatar

As a straight guy who doesn’t date or use dating apps idk how i stumbled into this but im sure i learned something

Marc Salomón's avatar

10/10 post. As a bi man I read your post like it was gospel. This was just exactly like my experiences: the monocultural communist gay spaces, the apps as a way to facilitate finding gay/sexually quirky people, the tagging, the "too clean to be straight", damn you read my whole life lmao

Carlos's avatar

> (Spoiler: your problem is that you are not being nearly off-putting enough.)

I have a very similar view. Don't be slightly likeable by all. Make 5% of people consider you insanely hot and 95% of people consider you an idiot. Polarize.

My dating app pic is me in textbook goth cowboy Dom clothes, holding the book The Heart of Dominance.

Jim Wiley's avatar

This is just good marketing. Find the people who want you, don't try to change minds.

William Dean Thurmond's avatar

Bingo. Exclusivity, especially that created by marketing, is an attractant that eliminates undesirables.

Jonathan Ray's avatar

Seth Godin says the same about marketing a company: focus on your hardcore fans instead of trying to get lukewarm responses from everyone. Lukewarm responses aren’t worth anything. Don’t hide your polarizing characteristics such as being a huge nerd

cringyuser's avatar

This the kind of stuff that makes women write long winded think pieces about how dating sucks.

Aaron's avatar

Banger

Harish's avatar

‘gay technology misappropriated by heterosexuals’ is an insane sentence and unfortunately correct

Roko Maria's avatar

This definitely matches my experience. As a trans lesbian, I was able to arrange a hookup within ~4 hours of downloading Lex, an app which is not especially hookup aligned.

This is a substantial improvement over my experience as a straight(ish) man, in which years of social conditioning and gender asymmetries I was not yet woke enough to understand permanently barred me from pussy of any kind.

TK-2042's avatar

Horseshoe theory of woke and redpill

Roko Maria's avatar

i think every guy having trouble getting laid should either become gay or trans. either way it is so much better. Redpill ideology exists because straight dating is structured to be a nightmare

TK-2042's avatar

I like being a man and I like women. How do you propose I 'become gay or trans.'

viv's avatar

Obviously you should become a trans man

Nicole N's avatar

Hear me out:

Openly bisexual men tend to attract different types of women. Your reach is narrower (normies will reject you because of biphobia), but the smaller pool who does like you are hornier and less concerned with hetero dating norms.

Why? Bisexual men tend to attract queerer women and less conformist women, the kind of women who value a man’s bisexuality (as opposed to fear it). A lot of women you perceive as “lesbian” - such a butch presenting women - are actually bisexual and will date you.

So, if you become bisexual (a form of gay), you can opt out of trad hetero dating and still date women!

/s

BrainRotfront!'s avatar

honestly, at that point just curse God for your fate. cismale heterosexuality is evidence against a benevolent, all-loving God and for a cruel, capricious God that has abandoned 40% of his creations to indescribable horror

viv's avatar

You just have a skill issue. It's okay. I will help you. I am furiously wordsmithing the followup post as we speak. Come with me; get into my pouch; I'll take you away from this place

BrainRotfront!'s avatar

tbqf, I don't know why I'm so blackpilled, because I am the only person I've ever met who has actually had a positive experience on dating apps and thus never been single for more than a few weeks.

arguably though this gives me insight that the world is highly non-optimal for people who are not insane freaks like me

TK-2042's avatar

Oh well, play the cards that I'm given

BrainRotfront!'s avatar

arguably, this is more of an example of REAL traditionalism in the guenon sense. we all curve around in some way to find the inherent truth of the universe

Livy's avatar

"permanently barred from pussy of any kind" I'm crine

Anonymous Dude's avatar

Yep, you hit the nail on the head. Wasn't Tinder even named after Grindr, obliquely?

Glencora's avatar

I don’t know why they don’t kill off all the vowels and go right to ticker symbols. GRNDR. TNDR. MTCH. BMBL. (PRSNLS or LNLYHRTS exceed the character limit but are no longer relevant anyway.)

Anonymous Dude's avatar

Branding is an art, not a science, and I won't pretend to understand.

Glencora's avatar

And when I read “branding” my first thought is still “livestock!”

Anonymous Dude's avatar

I'm not a country boy, so it's not my first thought, but I don't disagree!

le raz's avatar

"Let us all these women culturally "

I think you have a typo: all should be call?

Alex Hill's avatar

Unfortunately seems to me that all the queer women on apps are also communists. Libertarian pussy still very hard to find.

Colleen's avatar

Or maybe it has something to do with how you refer to women by their genetalia

viv's avatar

Pussy has nothing to do with women and vice versa https://viverricious.substack.com/p/how-many-genders-are-there

Mai Celine's avatar

I think ur perfect woman is not one at all

Aster Langhi's avatar

I expected to resent this article, but found myself agreeing with the analysis in the last third.

Once the fire of marginal asymmetry creeps into the oil well of gender stereotyping, you get an explosion so big, it razes the *offline* culture.

The people who suffer the greatest loss are those who least fit the stereotypes.

viv's avatar

That hasn't really been my experience tbqh, I think being an extremely un-stereotypical category member lets me differentiate into a niche very easily and is sort of what I'm getting at with the "be more off-putting" advice

Cuckfucius's avatar

This is funny, you’ll pop off tbh keep going

Charles Pye's avatar

That image.. XD . Maybe we all need to be hanging out at gay and lesbian spaces to meet straight partners?

viv's avatar

honestly? the more I think about this the better an idea it seems to be

V.A.N's avatar

Can you imagine the day someone be like, hey what’s your Substack (instead of IG). Let’s make Substack the dating app but with matchmakers

Jonathan Ray's avatar

I married the first girl I messaged on Hinge and had 2 children with her. We are both super nerdy and telegraphed that on our profiles. The algorithm worked